I Prefer to Not Be “overflowing in a romance of tulle”
So, here is what’s been on my mind since last July, but I didn’t (and still don’t) really know how to put it in words. If you don’t want to read a long dissertation on my innermost thoughts, please close this window and come back next week. All images are from Indigo Twins Weddings. They are doing amazing work, and you should check them out.
First, let me start out by saying I never had a dream wedding. I wasn’t one of those little girls that played wedding and dreamed her whole life of a perfect fairytale day. I had other things on my mind growing up . . . namely, growing up and getting out of the house. The thought of a “prince charming” was ridiculous to me, and even playing house seemed quite frivolous. Also, princes in tights were as laughable as their helpless maiden counterparts. I never daydreamed about getting swept off my feet by a knight on a white horse. I’m scared of horses.
But now here I am, planning a wedding. And trying to pay for a wedding. And dealing with expectations about said wedding. A few months back, I read A Practical Wedding, and while it didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know deep in my heart, it did reinforce all the feelings I was having. There will not be a five-course set-plate dinner at our wedding. There will not be a string quartet or bajillion-dollar floral arrangements. My dress is second-hand and it doesn’t have a train. I’m surprised I even bought a wedding dress. There will be no fancy linens or DJ or champagne waterfalls.
We’ll be married outdoors, by my newly-ordained friend, using a ceremony written by us. We’ll have a buffet dinner that may or may not include wood-fired pizza. We’ll have music played by friends and music played on an iPod. Why? Because that’s how we roll. And that’s it.
And all the while, I know this is not what some people expect from our wedding – and that’s a bit hard to swallow – but I’m getting better at it. Because truly, I could put on some over-alls and marry Nicky in a gas station parking lot officiated by a monkey, and that would be just fine. All I really care about is the getting married to Nicky part. The rest is just window-dressing.