Farewell, 2012. Onward!

I was going to start this post with “sorry for the long break, etc.” But really, you’ve heard that before. So let’s start again.

Hello! I have been taking a break, but I have been thinking about you. I hope everyone has managed to survive the holidays. I hope that you, like me, managed to catch glimpses of true joy and love and togetherness amidst the fog of traveling and the heavy curtain of carb-overload. I hope that after the piles of shredded paper and ribbon were removed that there was space to breathe, to take in your family, and wonder at your great life. Nothing is perfect, and holidays are hard – especially when you are missing a loved one – but there are perfect moments. I hope you had many, many perfect moments this month and all the months before it.

Today is the last day of 2012, as you know. This is a time for resolutions. Historically, I have made big, huge, unattainable lists of goals. Filled with hope and determination, I intended these lists as roadmaps to a better year. Time after time, these lists have morphed into a declaration of things that I haven’t accomplished. A big, glaring Magna Carta of failure with two out of fifty items ticked off the list. For 2013, I am giving myself two tasks: Pull off a wedding. Be more intentional in my life without feeling guilty. Guilt slips into my life on a daily basis and I realize that this is because of the lists I make for myself and because I can’t bear the thought of letting anyone down. I actually felt a little guilty writing that.

While I know I can’t eliminate guilt completely, I will be working at slowing down my brain, forgiving myself a little more – making space so I can notice more of the perfect moments hidden under all the white noise. I want to be invested and excited. I want to really enjoy the journey rather than focus on the outcome. Part of this action will most likely involve blog breaks, and I won’t feel guilty about it anymore. Please know that this means my posts will be more meaningful. Please also know that I appreciate each and every one of you – I do not take this lightly. Know that a break does not equal laziness or complacency. I’ll just be busy enjoying the process and building up to something amazing, I swear.

Wishing you a safe, fun, joyful New Year filled with friends and family. And hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.

♥Heidi

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